At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
