So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
