guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Randomize
