I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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