i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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