Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize