Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
