getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
