i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
