porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
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