Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
