I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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