You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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