Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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