I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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