Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
