"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
