She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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