is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
