You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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