I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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