I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
