What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
