she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
