I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize