i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Randomize
