Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize