What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize