3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
