you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Randomize
