Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
