mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
