We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
