we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
did you just send me my own nude
Is this like a preordered booty call?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
