Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
