morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize