Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
