your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize
