Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Randomize
