If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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