Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize