i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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