do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
So here I am, sexting at work.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
