I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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