I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
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