Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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