he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize