Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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