this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
