I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
