Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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