awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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