Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
