Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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