Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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