do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize