About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize
